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Current Blogs
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Sunday August 10, 2008
Driver's License for Illegal Aliens?
You Bet, It's a Safety Issue.
_

Thursday May 8, 2008
The Illegal Alien Problem: The Fair Solution

Thursday April 3, 2008
Hillary Clinton To Divorce Bill


Saturday February 9, 2008
What Your Basketball Sportscaster
 Doesn't Want You To Know

Thursday January 24, 2008
Dee's Laws of Life

Tuesday January 8, 2008
Predictions For 2008

Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Ban The Peny and the Nickel Too

Copyright 2007 and 2008 by C. D. Gragg, All rights reserved.

 

Monday, September 8, 2008

ComingFlash! Flash!
Flash!    Flash!   Flash!
The Australian UFO Comics are here !
11:50 am mst

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Driiver's License For Illegal Aliens
                    Driver's License For Illegal Aliens?
                           You Bet, It's A Safety Issue

  
There are 14 million illegal aliens in the United States.  Most of them are driving without a Driver's License.  Is that a good idea?

   Every U.S. citizen, to drive legally, must pass a written test, an eye test, and a driving test.  Would that not be a good idea for the illegals as well? The illegals would happily take the tests, but the states will not let them.

   The pandering politicians piously proclaim, "We won't give illegals a Driver's License".   Fine don't give it to them!   Make them earn it the same as U.S. citizens have to.   Why discriminate against U.S. citizens who must take the tests?   Why give the illegals a free pass?   It makes no sense!

   We killed more than 42,000 people in the U.S. on our highways last year.  Many of them were killed in accidents caused by illegals.  Is there any reason we should continue to make this slaughter worse than it need be?

   Require the illegals to come in so we may know that they know the rules of the road, can see at least 20/40 and know how to drive safely.    Make sure they understand that the penalty for failure to obtain a license is immediate deportation.
No questions asked.  No excuses allowed.  No sob stories permitted.  Just out.  Gone, now!

deegragg@yahoo.com
3:09 pm mst

Thursday, May 8, 2008

The Illegal Alien Problem: The Fair Solution

 The Illegal Alien Problem: The Fair Solution

      To begin, it must be recognized that U. S. citizens and illegal aliens have a symbiotic relationship.  We absolutely depend upon each other.  Without them and their cheap labor, our prices would soar out of sight.  Inflation would hit high double digits almost immediately.  Yet without us, the aliens would be back in their poverty stricken, third world hovels.

    We absolutely must live together.   Any other idea is pure political hokum.   My plan is the fair solution to the illegal alien problem.  In can be accomplished in the following two easy steps

Step1. Seal the borders.  No plan has any hope, even this perfectly fair one, until the borders are sealed.     Whether that takes a fence, cameras, ground surveillance, or sea and air surveillance, that must come before anything else!

Step 2. Every illegal alien must register within six months.  No action will be taken against them unless they have committed crimes.  Failure to be registered after six months will be cause for immediate deportation.  No questions asked.  No excuses allowed.  No sob stories permitted.  Just out.  Gone, now!

   Every illegal alien must become a U. S. citizen within five years.  They may take the citizenship exam in the language of their choice, IF, AND ONLY IF, they have passed the Basic English Survival Exam (BESE).  The BESE will consist of several hundred words which they must be able to speak, understand, read and write.

   These words will deal with how to talk to a doctor or a policeman, report a fire or a crime.  They must know the names of the body parts, common grocery items, and how to count money.  In short they must demonstrate a minimum functioning capability in an English speaking world.

    Failure to become a U. S. citizen after five years would be cause for immediate deportation.  No questions asked.  No excuses allowed.  No sob stories permitted.  Just out.  Gone, now!

   This fair plan considers and satisfies the needs of both.  We will have a stable, cheap work force which protects us from the ravages of inflation and they will get stable, deportation proof jobs making many times the money they made in their country of origin.  This plan is a win-win for everyone and for everyone it is perfectly fair.

deegragg@yahoo.com

11:29 am mst

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Hillary Clinton to Divorce Bill

                    Hillary Clinton To Divorce Bill

 

   If Barack Obama wins the presidency in November, and he certainly will, Hillary will divorce Bill in 2009.  Obama will become president for two fundamental reasons.

 

   (1)  The Super Delegates will not dare steal the nomination from Obama and give it to Hillary.  That would split the party and give the presidency to McCain—which is the only way he can win it.

 

   (2)  McCain cannot find enough Americans that will vote to continue killing our brave troops for 10 more years in the Civil War in Iraq.

 

   With Obama entrenched in the White House, Hillary would not have another chance to run again for eight more years.   Sadly, by then this brilliant woman will be, too dated, too establishment connected and too old to ever run for the presidency again.

 

   But this cloud will have a silver lining.  She can now dump Bill.  She has held on to this narcissistic, womanizing, perjurer because she felt she had to have him to make the presidential run.

 

  This impeached, piece of pond scum  turned out to be a mixed bag at best.  His fund raising skills were less than hers.  The famous Clinton Machine was badly beaten by an absolute new comer to the presidential scene.  The Clinton people made continuous gaffs and miscalculations.  But worst of all, Bill’s uncontrollable mouth caused continuous turmoil in the campaign.

 

   Hillary will then be able to get back to serving the people of New York, a job she loves and is very skilled at.  Who knows, perhaps there is a worthy, true love out there for her somewhere.

 

   So for my first prediction for 2009:

 

Hillary will divorce Bill in 2009

 

     Remember, you heard it here first!

 

(My predictions for 2008 are also contained in this blog.)

9:31 pm mst

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Basketball Sportscaster

What Your Basketball Sportscaster

                           Doesn't Want You To Know!!


  
  Your basketball sportscaster doesn’t want you to know that virtually every basketball game is decided long before it becomes obvious.   Why doesn’t he want you to know?  He has a built in conflict of interest.

    If you knew the game was over, you would stop listening and his sponsor would sell less soap, beer, Viagra, or whatever.  It is simply a matter of money.  It is his job to keep you interested until the last second.  It really  doesn’t matter to him that the game was decided long ago.

    Well, if you buy into that, fine.  But if you don’t there is a simple way to determine the winner well ahead of time.  Here  are the three simple steps that you can learn quickly and remember easily.

1. Round the game clock up to the next whole minute. 

2. Double that number.

3. Add 1.

   Let’s take an example to be sure you have the concept.

1. Say the game clock shows 3:14, round that up to 4.0

2. Double it.  That is, 2 times 4 equals 8.

3. Add 1.  That is, 8 plus 1 equals 9.

  That’s it.  When a team possesses the ball and is leading by 9 points they will win the game with a “high degree of reliability”*.

    In case you need a little extra assistance, here is a simple table to help.  Remember that the winning team must have the ball at the time the win is declared.

Game Clock

(Sec)

Points Needed

For Win

0.01 to 1.00

3

1.01 to 2.00

5

2.01 to 3.00

7

3.01 to 4.00

9

4.01 to 5.00

11

Etc.

Etc.

   *In “statistics-speak”, they will win with a minimum reliability of 98.7 per cent at the 90 percent confidence level.  In “human-speak”, this system will fail about one time in a hundred.  A complete documentation of my research is contained in the Articles section of this site.

11:04 pm mst

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Dee's Laws of Life

Dee’s Laws of Life

   These are my collected works on the Laws of Life as I have discerned them.   I hope you enjoy my irreverent style and maybe, just maybe, there will be something you can remember and use.


Dee’s Law of French Fries

   Have the waitress bring an extra order.

   The person who just said they didn’t want any, is getting ready to eat half of yours.  It doesn’t count on their diet if it comes off your plate. 


Dee’s First Law of Travel

    Never drive to any place that has an airport.

     If you can afford it, always use the safest, and fastest, means of travel i.e. fly.     Cars work well for short distances but they are inherently dangerous and slow.


Dee
’s Second Law of Travel

   Never walk to any place that has a road leading to it.

   Walking is for exercise, not transportation.


Dee
’s Third Law of Travel

    Never, ever use a boat.

     Boats are for fishing, getting sea sick, and gaining weight while on a cruise, not for transportation.


Dee
's Law of Theaters

   If you can’t see the seats and you must make a choice, go to the left.

   We are a right-hand oriented society; most of the people will go the right leaving the best seats to the left.   Also, if there is an obvious way to go, don't go there.   Go to the straight and narrow and leave the broad way for the rest of the flock, herd, people.


Dee’s Law of Fires

   If there is a fire, don’t go out the way you came in.

   There could be exceptions, of course.  For example, if you are seated by the entrance or the fire has blocked the emergency exit.  But, in general, panicked people will try to go back the way they came in, often jamming the exit and tramping people in the process.  Go out one of the emergency exits which you located as you were being seated.


Dee
’s Law of Keys

    If the key will not turn, lift up on the back of it

     After I learned this Law, I saved myself from many would be frustrating incidents.   Motel keys are particularly bad at this.   In fact, without this law I wouldn’t even have been able open the driver’s side door of my Lincoln Town Car.


Dee
’s Law of Finance

    Never seek financial advice from someone who is in the business of selling financial instruments.

     On second thought, apply this across the board to anybody who’s trying to sell you anything.


Dee’s First Law of Credit Cards

  Never pay an annual fee for a Credit card.

  There are too many cards out there that are free for the asking.    For example: Discover Card never charges a fee.


Dee
’s Second Law of Credit Cards

   Never use your card, unless you already know where the money is coming from to pay for the purchase.

   This is perhaps the most important Law of all.   Don’t even think about using that card until you know exactly what part of the budget or other funds you will use to pay for the purchase.


Dee
’s Third Law of Credit Cards

     Never, ever pay any interest.

     This is a no brainer.   Always pay off your cards in full every time.    If you’ve followed Law No. 2, Law No. 3 will be the easiest of all to follow.  

    

Dee’s Fourth Law of Credit Cards

    Use only the card that pays you back the most money at the end of the year.

     Most cards give you back something at the end of the year.  Go for the one that gives you back the most money.    I suppose airline miles might sometimes work out, but it is really difficult to beat cold, hard cash in the pocket.  Then you can buy your own airline ticket.


Dee’s Law of Adverse Expectations

    Determine your enemy’s expectation of you, then do something entirely different.

     Never do the obvious.   Think.    Keep the big baboon off balance and watch him scramble. 


Dee
’s Law of Neckties

     Always buy your shirts with the neck at least one size too large.   Always wear a safety (clip on) tie.
     There is no need to choke yourself.    Buy a shirt with the neck too large.   You’re the only one who will notice and that will be from the comfort you will feel.   Ties can get caught in rotating machinery, shredders, car doors, and prisoners' hands.    Do like the law enforcement people do, use a clip on so that all they get is your tie and not your neck.   Also give yourself back two minutes of your life every day by not having to tie it.

Dee’s Law of Telephones

     If you find yourself in one of those mindless, absolutely infuriating, telephone menus and you really must speak to a Human. Press 0.

     For some reason this seems to work.    Maybe the same little gnome designed them all.


Dee
’s Law of Marriage

    The good men are not all taken, they are still out there looking for the good women.

     Yes, Virginia they are still out there and they’re looking for you.   Dig in sweetheart, the reward will be a lifetime of satisfaction.   Happy Hunting.


Dee
’s Law of Sports Shirts

    When you find the one you really like, it will be available in only small and 2X large.

     You tell me why all the department store buyers assume that there are as many small and huge men as there are medium men.   There aren't of course; our sizes are a normally distributed bell curve.     But that’s why your size is always sold out and the store is stuck with trying to unload all the small and huge sizes.


Dee's Law of Barbers

   The fastest barber is the best. 

   Remember that no one can actually ruin your hair.   It will always grow out again.


Dee’s Law of Discontinued Products

      As soon as you find a product you really like and want to continue buying it for the rest of your life, it will be discontinued.

     It’s uncanny how manufacturers can sense that a product is doing really well and they are able to use that knowledge to discontinue it.


Dee
’s Law of Retirement

     Don’t ever retire until you have a lot of time to put into it.

     Retirement can not only be the most fun you have ever had in your life, but it will also require the most time.   You will need a calendar to keep up with where you are supposed to be when.


Dee’s Law of New Cars

     Don’t ever buy one.

     For three good reasons: (1) Don't pay the $5,000 to $10,000 it costs to drive it out of the show room.  Let someone else pay that for you.  (2) Safety/recall defects probably will not show up for a year or more.  (3) Manufacturers sometimes put out lemons.  No one will realize that it is a lemon when the car is new.   Give yourself some time to steer clear of these.


Dee’s First Law of The West

    No matter who is Number One, there will always be a faster gun!

   No one stays on top for very long and the trend is to shorter and shorter tenures.


     These are my collected works on the Laws of Life as I have discerned them.   For your convenience I am compacting them so that you may more easily clip them out to carry in your pocket or purse for easy reference.   Come to think of it, that’s about the most arrogant statement I’ve ever read.   So, I’m proclaiming myself Top Gun of Arrogance for the day.  Someone else will be more arrogant by tomorrow.



Dee’s First Law of Travel

   Never drive to any place

         That has an airport.

 Dee’s Second Law of Travel

   Never walk to any place

           That has a road leading to it.

Dee’s Third Law of Travel

Never, ever use a boat.

Dee’s First Law of College

   Points made at the expense

          Of the instructor’s ego

                 Are never worth it!

Dee’s First Law of Architecture

   Beauty cannot be tolerated

          At the expense of efficiency.

Dee’s Law of Keys

If the key will not turn

     Lift up on the back of it

Dee’s Law of Finance

   Never seek financial advise from

      Someone who is in the business

        Of selling financial instruments.

Dee’s Four Laws of Credit Cards

1.        Never  pay an annual fee for a  Credit card.

2.        Never use your card unless you  Already know where the  Money is coming from

          To pay for the purchase.

     3. Never, ever pay any interest

 4. Use only the card which pays 

                You back the most money

                 At the end of the year.

Dee’s Law of Adverse Expectations

        Determine your enemies’

              Expectation of you

                  Then do something

                      Entirely different.

Dee’s Law of Neck Ties

  Always buy shirts with the neck

    At least one size too large.

     Always wear a safety (clip on) tie.

Dee’s Law of Telephones

   If you find yourself in one of

        Those mindless, absolutely

            Infuriating telephone menus

                And you really must speak

                   To a Human.

                           Press 0.

Dee’s Law of Marriage

   All the good men are not taken

        They are still out there looking

           For the Good Women.

Dee’s Law of Sports Shirts

     When you find the one you really

           Like, it will be available in

                 Only small and 2X-Large.

Dee’s Law of Barbers

   The fastest barber is the best.

 Dee’s Law of  Discontinued Products

As soon as you find a product you really like

And want to continue buying it for the rest of your life

It will be discontinued.

Dee’s First Law of The West

      No matter who is

               Number One

                    There will always be

                           A Faster Gun!


Copyright 2008 by C. D. Gragg, All rights reserved, Legal Notice

9:56 pm mst

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Predictions For 2008

Predictions For 2008
 

   I have no known physic capabilities.  However, I have often noted in the past that, within my limits, I can predict the future.  Here are my FEARLESS predictions for 2008.

Prediction 1.  The Democrats will have a majority in both houses of congress and will win the presidency.  They will still complain about not having enough power to enact legislation.

Prediction 2.  A huge jet will not crash into the Empire State Building causing 1,564 fatalities.  Home Land Security will claim credit for the nonevent.


Prediction 3.
Although there is a striking resemblance, David Letterman will not be replaced by a Japanese robot.


Prediction 4
. Despite the hand-wringing, political posturing and finger pointing, Social Security will remain solid as a rock.


Pediction 5.
A UFO will not land on the White House lawn.  However more than 150 UFO sightings each month will be reported to MUFON (Mutual UFO Network).


Prediction 6.  
Chris Angel will not levitate a broom for Ann Coulter to ride out of town.


Prediction 7.  
Mexico will not declare  war on the United States .   Possibly losing the opportunity for repatriations, Marshall Plan, Lend Lease, Favorite Nation Status and priority immigration status for its people.


Prediction 8.
  A speeding passenger train will not crash into the Mississippi River drowning 453 passengers. Home Land Security will take credit for the nonevent.


Prediction 9
. In spite of their wobbly high heels, all of the Miss America contestants will successfully walk across the stage with out a single one falling on her butt.


Prediction 10.
  President Bush will not run for a third term.  In a related event, he will not suspend the Constitution, dissolve the Congress and declare himself President-For-Life.


  
You will please note that I have given specific names, events and places.  Further, I will revisit my predictions at the end of the year and give you my accuracy percentage.  I dare, make that double-dog dare, any physic in
America do the same.


Copyright 2007 and 2008 by C. D. Gragg, All rights reserved
2:32 pm mst

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Ban the Penny...and the Nickel too


Ban The Penny And The Nickel Too

     Have we gone utterly mad? Is anyone paying attention? We are still using the same Lincoln Head penny that was first issued in 1909. We carry it around in our coin purses, pockets, and change makers, and have it clogging up our cash registers as if it had some value. It doesn’t.

     Of course it formerly had some value in the good old days. Time was when you could buy a penny post card with it. Then you could write mama from Nashville to tell her how great your singing career was going. Or if you preferred to not let everyone know how your career was going, you could use three pennies and buy a 3-cent stamp and send a letter.

     Those days are gone forever. They are not coming back. Today if you want to buy a 3-cent stamp it will cost you 33 cents. Yes, 11 times as much as when the penny had some value. And that’s not bad, our postal workers have to have a living wage too. What is bad is our unyielding grip on the past.

     This sentimental anarchism of days long gone is not free. There were more than 11 billion pennies produced just last year. That's up more than a billion from 1998. These useless little coppers cost  millions of dollars to produce. They are heavy and they take up space every where: in cash registers, coin purses, my pocket, and your dresser top, which was already cluttered enough.

     Do we need them for anything? Absolutely not. Without them we would do the same thing we now do for half cents. We would round up or down. Instead of rounding up from $49.13 & 1/2; cents to $49.14 cents we would round down to $49.10 cents. Or we would round $49.16 & 1/2; up to $49.20 instead of $49.17. Would this cause any concern? Are you kidding; we wouldn't even notice it except for a loss of clutter in our lives.

     But let's go further. Everything we have just agreed upon for the penny goes double for the nickel. When is the last time you got a nickel ice cream cone for a nickel? My last one cost $1.05. That's 21 nickels.

     This large, awkward coin takes up even more space than the penny. At first it might seem to have a worth five times that of the penny. This is simply an illusion. Remember your ninth grade algebra. A penny is worth nothing and five times nothing is still nothing.

     But it is not nothing to spend hundreds of millions of dollars every year producing and distributing them. That large sucking sound is your tax dollars going down a very large rat hole. We don't need more government waste. We already have more government waste than we will really ever need. It is past time to bring this sentimental, expensive, extravagance to a halt. Ban the penny and the nickel too.

So what do you think?    

Copyright 2007 and 2008 by C. D. Gragg, All rights reserved

8:46 pm mst

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     The statements in this Legal Notice shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the State of New Mexico without giving effect to any principles of conflicts of law. If any provision of this  Legal Notice shall be unlawful, void, or for any reason unenforceable then that provision shall be deemed severable from this Legal Notice and shall not affect the validity and enforceability of any remaining provisions.